How should professional caregivers and educators respond to children’s aggression?
Children need routine, structure, and boundaries, while adults need the conditions to maintain them
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At daycare centers, schools, and youth work settings, educators and caregivers should be able to work without being shouted at, insulted, spat on, bitten, kicked, or threatened by the young people in their care. Yet too many report having experienced such treatment, not only in residential settings but also in regular schools.
Aggression towards staff has become more frequent in recent years. In turn, young people exhibiting challenging behaviors are being suspended from educational settings for aggression, putting them at greater risk of worse educational outcomes and subsequent behavioral problems.
“When boundary violations and violence are seen as a normal part of the job, they can be hard to prevent and easier for organizations to ignore, rather than investing in making needed changes.”
Verbal or physical aggression toward staff is often considered part of the job, especially in childcare, schools, the child welfare system, and residential care settings. Being exposed to these behaviors can lead to physical injury, sleep problems, anxiety, secondary traumatic stress, and burnout. Caregivers who have experienced aggression more often consider leaving the profession. When boundary violations and violence are seen as a normal part of the job, they can be hard to prevent and easier for organizations to ignore, rather than investing in making needed changes.
Why young people may be aggressive towards educators
Young people sometimes react before they have had time to think, or find it hard to cope with strong feelings, resolve social tensions, or adapt to change. Aggression may happen when a young person feels overwhelmed and lacks the support or skills to express frustration appropriately.
“Aggression may happen when a young person feels overwhelmed and lacks the support or skills to express frustration appropriately.”
Educators and caregivers carry heavy workloads and emotional responsibilities. They typically start their jobs early in the day and work long shifts with modest pay and little recognition. When training, supervision, opportunities to share experiences and concerns with colleagues, and time to recover are limited, teachers and caregivers are more likely to respond to difficult behavior with punishment or confrontation, rather than by calmly attempting to understand and de-escalate the situation. Providing these supports can improve educator wellbeing and keep conflicts from escalating.
An unhealthy school climate, unclear rules, inconsistent responses to challenging behavior, and a punitive culture make it more difficult to prevent and address aggressive behavior and rule breaking. Financial and political pressures, understaffing, and lack of specialist support can make it impossible to fully meet young people’s needs. Staff may be left to cope on their own, without the support required to adapt to complex needs.
Over time, these factors can lead to more frequent and entrenched aggression.
Why group settings are vulnerable to child aggression
Aggression in group settings can unfold differently than in families. Professional caregivers work in shared spaces, often with many children, and their responses are visible to peers, colleagues, and sometimes parents. In front of an audience, a shove, insult, or coordinated attempt to undermine a teacher can take on a wider social meaning. A child may gain status by appearing tough, signal loyalty to friends by joining in, or demonstrate opposition to rules and adult authority. These group dynamics make harmful behavior more likely to spread or escalate.
Educators must maintain safety and set expectations for all children. They usually have limited control over which children are admitted or placed in their care. Many educational settings have large group sizes, high child‑to‑adult ratios, insufficient resources, frequent staff turnover, and heavy workloads. This leaves little space for careful relational work and conflict resolution, making aggression more likely.
How to respond to aggression with safety and understanding
A trauma- and developmentally informed approach recognizes that aggression may arise because children are still learning to manage strong feelings, cope with frustration, and resolve conflicts. Aggression is common when young children feel overwhelmed, and it can also reflect unmet needs, behaviors learned from others or reinforced through experience, or difficult experiences at home or school, or in care.
Understanding why children behave aggressively, disruptively, or defiantly can help us respond more constructively. When such behavior is seen as deliberate disobedience or evidence of a child’s “bad character,” adults may respond punitively or personally, which can intensify aggression. Instead, we should understand aggression as a possible sign of stress or limited skills, and ask what may be driving it.
Set firm safety limits and respond with clear, consistent consequences, while avoiding humiliation, shaming, or retaliation. Maintain predictable routines, build supportive relationships, and try to foster a positive group climate to prevent conflict from escalating. Take advantage of the support of supervisors, which can help you remain calm and better able to de-escalate difficult situations and model the emotional regulation you want children to develop.
“Caregivers need to be protected from violence and burnout. This is also essential if we are to protect children.”
Why leaders need to care for those who provide care
Caregivers need to be protected from violence and burnout. This is also essential if we are to protect children. When educators and caregivers are frightened, exhausted, or left alone to manage aggression, it is harder for them to respond calmly and consistently. They may withdraw or react in ways that make children more fearful and defensive. Staff who feel physically safe, emotionally supported, and able to reflect after experiencing difficult incidents are better able to set clear boundaries and provide consistent care.
This requires action from organizational leaders. Child-perpetrated violence is an occupational risk. Organizations need adequate staffing, regular supervision, and debriefing focused on children’s needs as well as staff wellbeing, along with ongoing training in trauma-informed practice, non-violent resistance, and de-escalation.
Authors